Finding the Light
For my first blog post, I wanted to step outside of my comfort zone and do something different. I didn't have a clear vision of what this project would be until about a month ago when I ran into someone who brought back a flood of bad memories from my past. It was all too easy to spiral into depression with thoughts of all the abuse I've endured during my lifetime. When I was 16 I was sexually assaulted, and I never spoke of it to anyone until recently. That night led me down a dark path of self destruction. I made a lot of bad choices after that because I didn't value myself, and as a result I allowed the men in my life to treat me badly, enduring physical and mental abuse throughout various relationships. It wasn't until two years ago that I began to see the light in myself. I met someone who quickly became my best friend and who is now my husband. He was the first man to treat me with respect and only wanted to simply be my friend. He told me that there is a light inside of me and someday that light will burn so bright that everyone will see. I'm not sure if that's true, but he sparked something in me that led me down a different path. It has been a long and difficult road, but the one thing I have learned is that we can not change our past, so there is no point dwelling on it. All we can do is look to the light and take steps to change our future. This was not an easy story for me to share because I prefer to keep things to myself, but I hope that in some small way this has helped someone out there. I think that we are only able to receive the love that we think we deserve, and until someone shows us otherwise, we will continue down a path of suffering and despair, or at least that was the case for me. So if you are suffering from abuse or depression, please speak to someone. There is someone out there who cares about you and wants a better life for you. You deserve so much more than a life of suffering. You can change your future. All you have to do is step out of the darkness and into the light.