Daniella Fishburne | Madame MadFish


Fearless {2/52}

I have a confession to make...this is my favorite image to date! Not the confession you were expecting? Well, I do have a secret to share and this is not an easy thing for me to admit, but.... I suffer from social anxiety. I don't fare well in large crowds and I really don't like being the center of attention. I'm trying to do better, but this is something that will likely be an ongoing battle for me. Last year, I won an award for employee of the year and was supposed to fly to Washington DC to accept the award in front of everyone at headquarters. It was going to be recorded and broadcasted to the entire organization. Although I was honored to receive the award, I was terrified at the thought of standing up there in front of all those people. A week before the event, I received news from my doctor that I had skin cancer and my appointment with the specialist was scheduled for the same day as the award ceremony. I really hate to admit this, but I was somewhat relieved. Not that I had cancer of course, that brought on a whole new set of fear, but I was relieved that I had a valid excuse for not going. (I know, that's terrible)

The reason why I'm telling you this is because I think it'll give you a better understanding behind this image. This was shot the same day as last week's image (Letting Go), but this one wasn't planned. I had never been to this section of the beach before, so I was quite surprised to find this pier randomly placed here. It seemed odd to me that the steps didn't reach the ground. You just had to jump off at the end. I'm not sure why it was there, but I couldn't miss the opportunity to use it for something. So I pulled myself up and stood there looking out at the sea while my husband snapped a few pictures. My initial thought was a woman waiting for her love to return home from sea (which I may revisit at some point), but then I remembered that I've been wanting to try flipping my hair back to get the effect of wind blowing in my hair. So I flipped my hair and my husband snapped away. Then he brought me the camera and I flipped through the images until I came across one where my hair was standing straight up. Then the lightbulb went off in my head! This was exactly what I never knew I wanted! But there was a small problem, my hair was cut off mid-way through.

So I instructed my husband on how to get the shot I wanted. He's such a wonderful assistant by the way. I don't know what I'd do without him...well, I'd have to invest in a wireless remote, but that wouldn't be nearly as much fun! Anyways, I got back into position and began flailing about like a mad woman. Now, when I started this, there was no one around, but when I stopped, a small crowd had formed and some were even taking pictures! Needless to say, I was a little embarrassed and waved meekly before jumping off the pier. 

Once I got home and started going through my images, I realized that I was so brave to do this. In that brief moment, I didn't think about the possibility of passers by stopping to watch. I didn't think about what they might think of me. I didn't think of anything other than the possibility of creating something beautiful. In this exact moment, I was fearless. And that is how I hope to live my life from now on. I don't want fear to stop me from achieving my dreams, no matter how terrified I might be. So I say this to anyone who was kind enough to read this blog entry....if there is something you want out of life...go after it. Be brave my friends. Be braver than you ever thought you could be. Be absolutely fearless!